For years, filmmaker Stefano Rulli operated under a singular, daunting premise: that his primary responsibility was to secure the future for his son, Matteo, who is on the autism spectrum. It is a weight familiar to many parents of children with neurodivergent needs—the anxiety of a world that often fails to provide a safety net. Yet, Rulli eventually reached a profound realization that shifted his entire perspective on fatherhood and existence.
In a candid reflection on his journey, Rulli noted that while he spent years worrying about guaranteeing a future, he eventually understood that Matteo is the one who gives meaning to his life. This shift in perspective highlights a broader, more systemic crisis in healthcare and social support: the reality that families dealing with autism are frequently left to navigate a complex and isolating system on their own.
Rulli’s experience is not merely a personal anecdote but a commentary on the intersection of disability, urban environment, and the human capacity for adaptation. From the overwhelming scale of Rome to the more intimate embrace of Perugia, his journey underscores how the “where” of a child’s upbringing can fundamentally alter the trajectory of their autonomy.
The Geography of Autonomy: From Rome to Perugia
The transition from the capital to a smaller city was not just a change of address for Rulli and his family, but a strategic move toward inclusion. Rulli describes Rome as “too gigantic and abstract,” a place where the sheer scale of the city can swallow a child who perceives the world differently. In contrast, he found in Perugia a form of “sober welcome”—a culture that communicates acceptance through presence and respect rather than loud declarations.
In Perugia, Rulli observed a transformative change in Matteo. He describes seeing his son walk the streets with a natural ease, noting that it feels as though the community knows and respects him. This environment allowed Matteo to find his own pace and achieve a level of independence that Rulli believes would have been nearly impossible in the sprawling environment of Rome. This achievement of autonomy represents a significant milestone, though Rulli admits that the emotional “knot” of fatherhood is never entirely untied.
The filmmaker’s current family structure, including his second wife, Gloria, and the support systems he has built, has helped him navigate this evolution. He acknowledges that while his role as a father has changed over the years, it has not been replaced or filled by his professional success or other family dynamics; it remains a central, evolving pillar of his identity.
Cinematic Echoes of Psychological Distress
Rulli’s professional work has long been haunted—and enriched—by themes of psychological distress and relational difficulty. Long before his personal life was shaped by Matteo’s diagnosis, Rulli was exploring the fringes of human communication. His first documentary, Matti da slegare, directed alongside Marguerite Bellocchio, focused on the psychiatric hospitals in Parma, capturing the stark reality of institutionalization.
Rulli views the timing of that film as a significant coincidence, as it preceded his experience with Matteo. The work on the manicomi in Parma introduced him to the immense complexity of human communication and the fragility of the mind. He admits that during the filming of that documentary, he often walked close to the walls, fearing the unpredictability of the environment—a reaction he acknowledges as typical for those who consider themselves “normal” when faced with mental illness.
However, his relationship with Matteo fundamentally dismantled this fear. By learning to decode the unique language and world of a child with autism, Rulli stopped viewing unpredictability as a threat and started seeing it as a different form of communication. This insight has bled directly into his screenwriting.
The Influence of Neurodivergence on Storytelling
Rulli explains that his son taught him to abandon schematic thinking. The discoveries he made while supporting Matteo became the blueprint for his characters. Rather than focusing solely on “disability” in the clinical sense, Rulli focuses on relational difficulties—the struggle to connect, the gap between internal experience and external expression.
- Deciphering Language: Rulli treats the “difficult” language of neurodivergent individuals as a code to be understood, not a problem to be fixed.
- The Journey Motif: Many of his films are structured as journeys, mirroring the slow, non-linear progress of a child gaining autonomy.
- Challenging Stereotypes: By moving away from the “mystery” or “fear” of mental illness, he aims to portray the human being behind the diagnosis.
The systemic isolation of families
Beyond the personal and artistic triumphs, Rulli’s testimony serves as a critique of the social infrastructure supporting disabled individuals. His assertion that “families are left alone” points to a gap in public policy and community support. While individual success stories like Matteo’s are inspiring, they often rely on the ability of the parents to find the right city, the right support network, and the right professional help—resources that are not equitably distributed.
The “truth” that autism presents to a parent, according to Rulli, is the sudden realization of one’s own vulnerability within a system that prioritizes the typical over the divergent. The struggle for autonomy is not just a medical or psychological battle for the child, but a logistical and emotional battle for the parents.
For those seeking more information on supporting families with autism or understanding neurodivergent rights in Italy, official resources can be found through the Ministero della Salute and various recognized patient advocacy groups.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes and does not constitute medical or psychological advice. Please consult a healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment of autism spectrum disorders.
As Rulli continues to integrate these life lessons into his cinema, his work remains a testament to the idea that the most profound growth often comes from the challenges we are least prepared for. The next phase of his journey involves continuing to champion a world where “autonomy” is not a hard-won victory for a few, but a standard right for all.
We invite readers to share their experiences with neurodiversity and the challenges of family support in the comments below.
